what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
