i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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