Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
