did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
