I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
