he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
