So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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