So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
