your room smells of hookers.
And success
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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