guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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