D3 body, D1 cock
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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