you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
