Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
