Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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