He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
