so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
