I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Liz is crying about burritos again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
