I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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