I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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