this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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