A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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