Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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