I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
