i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
