We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
