That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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