She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
