i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
