What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
