i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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