after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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