hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
