oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
