Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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