I bet he comes in French.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
