Soap is not a condiment
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
