How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
