I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
