If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
