Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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