Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
