I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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