Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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