This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
