are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
