I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
