I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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