I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
