we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
