Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
