I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
