I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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