It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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